I am typing this as I sit at the airport waiting for my flight to Orlando. This marks the beginning of the next nine crazy weeks of my life. Between work travel, vacation, and yoga teacher training, I will be gone every weekend until April 17th. It is a little unnerving to think that I’ll be unavailable for such a long time. But then again, it’s not like I had any actual plans. This always happens to me though. I have this fear of committing to things that are too far in the future, because what if I change my mind? Or what if something else comes that’s better? Don’t get me wrong, I don’t suffer from FOMO (fear of missing out). It’s more like fear of commitment. YIKES. Yes, I said it aloud. Maybe because I’ve been such a nomad my whole life, or maybe because people always leave. Somewhere along the way I decided I did not like making long-term plans. It scares me. Because I’m a recovering queen of the great escape. Kind of like runaway bride. So maybe I’m the runaway queen. But I’m not running anymore. I decided last year that I was going to face things head on. (I wouldn’t be me right now if I didn’t insert a quote here 😉 )

“Most of us do not take these situations as teachings. We automatically hate them. We run like crazy. We use all kinds of ways to escape — all addictions stem from this moment when we meet our edge and we just can’t stand it. We feel we have to soften it, pad it with something, and we become addicted to whatever it is that seems to ease the pain.”  ~ Pema Chödrön

 As scared as I am about YTT, I decided to take the plunge. I am taking seven weeks to get to know myself. These will be seven weeks of self-love and self-discovery. So even if I don’t teach for years, this will be about that connection with my higher self. But beyond that, it gives me seven weeks to really focus on ME. Because I won’t have time for anything or anyone else. You see, I’m a giver. I am always doing things for others, even if it means sacrificing what I really need to do for myself. Or probably because it means I don’t have to pay attention to what’s going on in my life. That also stops now. I don’t know if anyone will ever read this blog. But what I do hope is that one day, years from now, I’ll read this and be proud of myself for committing to it. And so, get ready… here I come!