I’m not really sure where this is going, or how long I’ll stick to it. But in an effort to get my writing legs back, I need to write. It seems like everything I write these days is so bad, but maybe it’s just a matter of getting all the crap out. Then the true, honest, heartfelt words will come out. Maybe? I’ve been so caught up in the words of Rumi, that I feel like there’s nothing I could contribute that could ever be so powerful as his words. But as any writer will tell you, write. Write until you have nothing else to write. Write until the words just flow with you, and through you. Write even if it’s terrible. Just commit to it. EVERY. SINGLE. DAY. So here goes day 1…

Do you ever just feel… stuck? Like, want-to-move-so-bad-it-hurts-stuck? That’s where I am right now. As an Aries (Astrology) and a Pitta (Ayurveda) I am always in a rush to get to the next stage/place/thing. I have a burning desire to constantly keep moving and learning or else I feel stuck. And I only feel like I’m making progress if I see external results. However, when I really dissect it and take a closer look at my life for the past six months, there has actually been an incredible amount of change in a very short period of time. And a good part of it has been internal. I am such a different person than who I used to be, that there is no question that I’m not stuck. But do you know what happens when you walk around saying you’re stuck? Your view of the world and your reality becomes so skewed, you cannot see all the rapid change happening around you. You miss the opportunities, the people, the moments that make up your life. I’d like to see more change happening right now. But I’m also being taught a lesson right now. P A T I E N C E. Slow down. Don’t rush through the steps. Don’t try to control every single moment of every single day. You’re not in control. Embrace the place you’re in now. Face the fear, the pain, the discomfort. Pema Chödrön, in her book When Things Fall Apart, talks about how she put up on her wall a poster with a quote: “Only to the extent that we expose ourselves over and over to annihilation can that which is indestructible be found in us.” She needed to remind herself that things fall apart every day. Things break and hurt, and that’s ok. That’s living. So I’m putting this up on my wall too. And I am going to stop complaining about being stuck. I am exactly where I’m supposed to be. There’s a reason why I am where I am (career, living, relationship, fitness), and if I don’t take a moment to appreciate it, I won’t learn from it. As Pema would say – nothing ever goes away until it has taught us what we need to know. So I’m freaking going to learn ALL I can from this :).