I woke up this morning like I usually do – snoozing for 10 more minutes, wondering why I should get out of bed. And then I remembered the great news I got yesterday. I start yoga teacher training in a month!! So I quickly bounced out of bed, did a few sun salutations and took a minute to bask in the feeling of gratitude. See, just a day or two ago I was feeling stuck. And now today I feel hopeful, eager, excited. How quickly our perspectives change…

On my way to work I read an article about how rather than asking someone out, you should send them a Pablo Neruda poem. And so I read the poem, but rather than thinking about sending this to someone else, I read it to myself. [I guess now’s a good time to add a disclaimer about how unconventional, hippie, and cheesy I am]. Because the biggest and most important lesson I’ve gotten out of what I’ve been going through for the past six months is that first, it starts with me. I have to love myself before I can love anyone else. I have to accept all the parts of me, not just the smart or pretty ones. The ugly ones, the ones that cry all the time, the insecure ones, the super awkward ones too.

I love you without knowing how, or when, or from where.
I love you straightforwardly, without complexities or pride;
so I love you because I know no other way than this

There are days when it is hard to love myself. Where it takes effort and courage to face who I am. But I just need to remember to love straightforwardly, because there is no other way than this. Because if I don’t love myself then there’s no point in doing anything else. Cynthia Morris best described this in her latest blog post, “Our ability to create is directly proportionate to our ability to love, respect, and honor ourselves.” This explains why it has been so hard for me to write. I used to write all the time and loved doing so. And then one day I just stopped. And when I tried to write again I just couldn’t. I bought all these beautiful journals, colorful pens, and even a new computer. NADA. Nothing came. So I’m choosing to love myself every day without knowing how, or when, or from where, because it’s time to put myself first.